Foolisher

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

- Douglas Adams

I don't get this one, can anyone explain?

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

- Mark Twain

Purpose of Hand

Hand: A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.

- Ambrose Bierce

Honesty

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

- Mark Twain

Secret To Success

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

- Mark Twain

LifeStyle

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

- Charlie Chaplin

What a Man!

I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right.

- Muhammad Ali

Decisions

There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.

- Pearl S. Buck

Confucious or Confused?

Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

- George Bernard Shaw

Police Officers

Do you see this? N-Y-P-D! Means I will knock your punk-ass down!

- Will Smith

PoliTics

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

- Will Rogers

The Same Life

I don't think I've mastered anything.I'm still wrestling with the same frustrations, the same issues, the same problems as I always did. That's what life is like.

- Harrison Ford

Nonsense

With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

- Albert Einstein

Everything's Right

Optimism: The doctrine, or belief, that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong.

- Ambrose Bierce

hhhmmm...

Jealous: Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

- Ambrose Bierce

Google Non-Sense

If you trust Google more than your doctor then maybe it's time to switch doctors.

- Jadelr and Cristina Cordova

Cause and Effect

Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.

- P.J. O'Rourke

Yes...

Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.

- Aristotle

What's the Real Definition Of This...

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

- Bob Monkhouse

XD

There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.

- Salvador Dali

...

Our solar system consists of one star and some debris.

- Carl Sagan

More Tags!!!

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

- Rich Cook

Was so Hard...

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

- Mark Twain

Poli-Tics

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

- George Bernard Shaw

Burned!

Words are only painted fire; a book is the fire itself.

- Mark Twain

Games of the Generals

War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.

- Winston Churchill

>:)

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

- Mark Twain

Hatery

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

- Oscar Wilde

To See is To Believe

I know three things will never be believed - the true, the probable, and the logical.

- John Steinbeck

As Mostly Says

It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.

- Mahatma Gandhi

How It Become Golden???

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules.

- George Bernard Shaw

At the Corner!!!

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.

- Aldous Huxley

Lawyers

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

- Mark Twain

Two is Better Than One

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.

- George Bernard Shaw

Bigger, Larger Dreams

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

- Mark Twain

Opposite means like...

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.

- Henry Ford

Curiosity

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

- Isaac Asimov

Here Comes Nothing!

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

- Elbert Hubbard

Home in OnE!!!

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.

- Henry Aaron

Run!

From sublime to ridiculousness there is only one step.

- Napoleon

Chain Reaction

Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.

- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Two-Legged Freak!

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'

- Sam Levenson

Once Upon A Time...

Never tell a story because it is true: tell it because it is a good story.

- John Pentland Mahaffy

At the Court!

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is.

- Roy M. Cohn

But Enstein says earlier...

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

- Albert Einstein

Lamp Shade

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark.

- Muhammad Ali

C'mon! Wake Up...

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.

- Muhammad Ali

After 30 years...

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.

- Muhammad Ali

Sooooo Baloney!!!

I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right.

- Muhammad Ali

Kick-it Mr. Bean!

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

- Rowan Atkinson

Surname

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

- Joey Adams

Preeet!!! (whistle)

Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

- David Frost

Rockerzzz

Hell is full of musical amateurs.

- George Bernard Shaw

Scarcity

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former.

- Albert Einstein

Wait Forever

I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.

- Albert Einstein

Limitations of Mind

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

- Albert Einstein

Researching...

Basic research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

- Wernher Von Braun

Blah!-Blah!-Blah!!!

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

- Mark Twain

Counting 1, 2, 3, etc...

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

- Albert Einstein

Balikbayan

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood.

- Sam Ewing

Achieving Success

The road to success is always under construction.

- Anonymous Author